Rhythms and Routines

 Our family didn’t always have routines. For a long time, our days felt scattered, noisy, and all over the place. It was chaotic. I knew I needed to implement something steady, something that would bring peace and calm in our home. In this post, I want to share what I’ve learned about building routines: how I had to start with myself, how I got the kids involved along the way, and why it’s one of the best things we’ve done for our home.

Before I ever figured out what worked for our home, I spent way too much time chasing what looked good. I scrolled Pinterest, pinned all the color-coded schedules and aesthetically pleasing routine charts. You know the ones where every hour is perfectly planned, with matching fonts and pastel highlights. I really wanted it to work. But it didn’t.

Trying to follow someone else’s idea left me frustrated. My expectations were unrealistic, and before I knew it, I had become “That mom”, you know the one holding tight to her schedules, checklist, and chore charts running the household like it was the military. I got snappy when things didn’t go according to plan. I was stressed, they were stressed… and instead of feeling peaceful, our home felt tense. The truth is, I was the problem.

I was expecting my kids to follow routines and meet expectations that I wasn’t even modeling. I’d sleep in until they woke up, then get frustrated the second they started asking for breakfast, talking loud, or just being kids. I won’t lie, by the sound of it, it would seem like I was just not a morning person. I am a morning person, I'm just a slow riser. I like stillness and quiet in my mornings. And if I wanted to enjoy that kind of morning, I had to be the one to wake up first. And I already knew that.

Back when my husband worked outside the home and left for work at 5 a.m., I would wake up to see him off. That season was so nice. I had the house to myself, just me, my coffee, and God’s Word. I’d journal, pray, bake, or just enjoy the quiet before the day began. And when the kids woke up? I was ready to be mom and ready to receive them.

But I couldn’t stay consistent. I was staying up too late scrolling, watching TV, doing “me time” the wrong way. I’d sleep in again the next morning and wake up behind. Everything felt reactive. And the longer it went on, the more I felt like the days were running me. I knew something had to change.

Our family needed rhythms and routines not unrealistic schedules, but something steady and consistent. I didn’t want screens or noise raising my kids. I wanted to create a home where they felt grounded, seen, and safe. And that had to start with me. I had to set the tone. Not perfectly but be consistent.

Once I started making small changes like going to bed a little earlier or waking up before the kids it began to make a difference. Starting my days in God's word is the reset my heart needs every morning. I no longer felt behind or snappy as often. Our mornings were more calm. And eventually, I realized that routines were a tool, helping to create a more balance, peace and calm. Once I got that right I started getting the kids involved. I used to hesitate giving them too much responsibility. I didn’t want to overwhelm them. I wanted them to be kids, to play, to be carefree. But they’re older now. My son is 15 and my daughter is 11 and I’m realizing how important it is to equip them for the future.

My son has some challenges, and while he doesn’t do things the way others might, we don’t let that limit him. We challenge him and help him grow. He’s capable of so much, and we include him in all of it vacuuming, cleaning up, doggy backyard cleanup, helping with daily tasks in ways that work for him. My daughter is more hands-on and often helps with laundry or tidying up. We’ll put on music (usually something old-school or mellow) and make it more enjoyable.

I try to remind them that when we take care of what we’ve been given, we’re honoring God. Whether it’s folding laundry, tidying a room, or cooking a simple meal, these things matter. They’re learning stewardship, responsibility, and that we all take part in making our home what it is. I want my kids to know that caring for a home is a shared calling, something rooted in love and gratitude. It’s not just “mom’s job” it’s the ministry we do as a family. We’re not striving for perfection. And as they grow, these habits will follow them.

Some days, things go smoothly. Other days, dinner is whatever’s easiest and we’re stepping over shoes in the hallway. But even in the mess, I’ve learned to give grace to myself and to them. We begin again the next day. And that’s the beauty of rhythms they make room for real life. The goal was never to be picture perfect. The goal was peace. And that peace came when I finally started leading with intention, not just expectation.